Birthday Symbolism

Being a bored birthday girl yesterday, I was browsing the internet for astrology-related material. I came across a website that gives a fortune/description of every birthday. Check out the website here.

I'll post mine here and let me know what you think is accurate/inaccurate.

Love and satisfaction in relationships may not always come easily but this is no reason to become cynical about marriage and affairs of the heart. You will learn the lessons of love through the action of Saturn, the tester and inhibitor. As a result of your Karma you may indeed have to be patient until the right person comes along.

You are capable in handling money and are very resourceful even if you don't have a lot of money. You will soon put an end to that though because of your strong ambitions. Plough through life like a steamer through ice.

Your lucky colours are deep blue and black.

Your lucky gems are blue sapphire, lapis lazuli and amethyst.

Your lucky days of the week are Wednesday, Friday and Saturday.

Your lucky numbers and years of important change are 8, 17, 26, 35, 44, 53, 62, 71.

Birthdays

I'm one to really love holdiays, but what is more special than you're own day?

I've always tried really hard to make birthdays special, not only my own, but for other people. But, I won't lie, I really like to fancy-up my birthday. Everything is fun and special. I get to talk to all of my best friends in the world, no matter how close or far that I live to them, no matter how recent I've spoken to them.

What's a good birthday memory you have?

I'll share some of my birthday pictures with you. The first set are from 121, and the next are from 83/85.

Chalk drawings













Ang and the pinata fish I liked from KMart



My girls
Birthdays give a great excuse to have a good time







Next year! Which was technically last year







A great excuse to eat desserts and chocolate



My best friends :-)



Borderline inappropriate



Jenna cradling the gnome









And I'm going to complete the blog with a series of Ang crazy pictures. Poor Jenna. Maybe you can catch a glimpse of Ang's character from these pictures.

Deciding Who We Are

"Our cells are completely regenerating every seven years. We've already become completely different people several times over, and yet we always remain what is essentially ourselves."

Another Waking Life quotation. Isn't that an interesting concept? Like, we're constantly changing, but we slowly make those changes so we always appear the same. But, we're really composed of completely different matter than years before. Physically, we're not the same person we were as when we were a baby.

Expanding on that, speaking of change, another quotation from the movie goes as follows:

"It's always our decision who we are."

Do you agree with this statement? Personally, I think there are so many external factors that effect who we are, and we don't always have control of that. Things may happen to us that we don't necessarily want to, but we don't have the power to start it or start it. There are certain decisions we make that can make and shape who we are, but it's not always our decision. We can't always control what happens to us. All we can do is make ourselves be the smartest people we can, people capable of growth, no matter what happens to us.

Do you agree with the above quotation? Always?

Endless Curiosity

Further into the Waking Life commenting session:

"What we don't take into account when we're young is that endless curiosity. That's what's so great about being human."

Endless curiosity. This quotation makes me think of childhood and our endless imagination and creativity that I long for today. But, then I'm thinking, perhaps "young" is also meant for how old I am currently, because 21 is really not all that old. That's youth. So, at 21, the age of a lot of my friends, we still are pretty young, huh? We're still in this endless phase of curiosity? Do you think that you still are? Do you think that some people at this age lose that curiosity and settle?

I chose to talk about this one today because, last night, Jess and I were talking about a similar concept. We were talking about childhood pasttimes and what games we would imagine up and play. We had invisible friends that we could talk to for hours. I commented that I really miss the imagination I used to have. I wish I could regain all that imagination I lost as I grew up. Jess opposed, saying that I probably still do have a lot of that imagination. All is not lost. We still do have a lot left, just maybe not to the extreme of concocting battles with fairies and made-up treasure hunts in the back yard.

What do you think about the declination of our imagination from youth to adulthood?

I think authority, schooling, etc. really pound it out of us, but we really need it as a society. Creativity is everything. I wish more people would not be so afraid of being creative. I love seeing people who really do maximize their potential and creativity. At these craft fairs I've been going to, I love seeing the wood-workers, potters, jewlers, tie dyers, bakers, etc. who really put time into their craft and seem to really enjoy it in the process.

Back to the quotation though: how much, then, do we give up on curiosity once we get older? What is being lost? What exactly were we curious about before and now have no more desire to continue searching? Is it that we've learned so much (perhaps tired and bogged down by life) and no longer feel it necessary to discover and seek out more and new information? Comments?

Help me on this one.

Don't Box Me In

More quotations to ponder from Waking Life. Feel free to make comments on anything you read...

"It's like you come on this earth with a crayon box. Now you may get the eight pack, you may get the sixteen pack, but it's all in what you do with the crayons, the colors that you're given. Now don't worry about coloring outside the lines or inside the lines. I say color outside the lines. Color all over the page. Don't box me in!"

"There are two kinds of sufferers: those who suffer from lack of life, and those who suffer from an overabundance of life."

"Dreams are only as real as long as they last, but couldn't you say the same about life?"

"A friend once told me that the worst mistake that you can make is to think that you are alive, when really you're asleep in life's waiting room. The trick is to combine your waking, rational abilities with the infinite possibilities of your dreams because if you can do that you can do anything."

"What are these barriers that keep people from reaching anywhere near their real potential?"

Are you a dreamer?

Fear or Laziness

Another thought-provoking question from Waking Life:

Which is the most universal human characteristic: fear or laziness?

Hm... Among Americans, I think both traits are pretty prominent. I think we're becoming lazier and lazier as things become easier for us. We can do pretty much anything we want from our homes now, courtest of the computer, we can talk to anyone, anywhere at any time, and we can even shorten our tasks with our technological items or shortcuts via the internet.

Fear is always present, isn't it? There's always something external and foreign that freaks us out. Wars have always instilled fear in people. Now we have terrorism. There's always something.

Universally, I think the answer has to be fear.

Now, my example makes me think about people who have dreams to do things. I wish I was an actor. I wish I was a writer. I wish I could do this or that, but these people never act on what they have to say. I think laziness is definitely a key ingredient here, but I think that fear is a stronger element. It's easier to back down to the fear of rejection and failure than it is to try it and fail. We may not be good enough or we may have to be rejected several times before we succeed, but even that is a lot of work (which is where laziness comes in). A lack of motivation to work for something you really care for.

With other examples, I think accounting for people all around really turns my answer to fear. Thinking about how other people in other countries live, they have to feel more fear than laziness. I think if the answer were solely for Americans, then maybe laziness would be a good answer, but I think that other countries are definitely not as lazy as we are. It seems to me, with my education thus far, that some countries have to work a lot harder for some things that we take for granted. I think they fear more than they have the opportunity to be lazy over something.

Think about how many things someone can fear. Death--probably the top on the list--is probably more of an issue for some countries or people than others. People in war or certain countries (for various reasons) perhaps fear this more. Rejection, for those in pursuit of something, dreams, love, etc. Change. Doesn't everyone fear change? Failure. The list goes on.

How do you answer the question?

Being Understood

Ponder this from Waking Life:

"When it gets really interesting, I think, is when we use our system of symbols to communicate all the abstract and intangible things that we're experiencing. Like, what is frustration, or what is anger, or love? When I say love, the sound comes out of my mouth goes in their ear, through their memories of love, or lack of love, and they register what I'm saying and say 'yes, they understand,' but how do i know they understand? Because words are inert, they're just symbols. They're dead. And so much of our experience is intangible, so much of what we perceive cannot be conceived. It's unspeakable. And yet when we communicate with one another and we feel that we have connected and we think that were understood, I think we have a feeling of almost spiritual communion and that feeling might be transient, but I think its what we live for."

If you think this is interesting, watch the video clip. It's under two minutes. It's not very time consuming.

I think it's crazy how much power and feeling can come behind such a simple, yet loaded, word like love, anger, or frustration. On the screen, they look very simple, but we all have such unforgettable, negative and positive memories and attachments to the words. Such strong emotion and feeling can be evoked just by saying a simple one-syllable word like "love." Someone could be moved to tears or smiles just by a single word. Now that's power.

Don't we all just want to be understood in some way, in one form or another? It's one word, or many words, that we want to have that connection with someone, that the word can be said and someone else will know and feel the same as we do about it, be it love, acceptance, loss, death, etc. We don't want to feel alienated and alone, that the word could repress our feelings or bring us so much intense sorrowful emotion that it couldn't just be you that's feeling the horrid, creeping feeling beneath your skin and through your nerves? Don't we all want that connection?

But how do we know that someone else knows? How can we get such deep and true understanding?

I think that everyone has at least one person who really and truly gets them on a spiritual level--and I don't mean anything hard-core religious. I mean spiritual in the sense of two people truly understanding each other's souls, their thoughts, understanding their motivations and actions even before they do them. It's knowing without hearing it, knowing just by looking at the person and seeing their reaction to something. It's hearing them say one thing and know that they are saying something else with it too, something that you can silently hear inside your brain. I think we all have this with someone whether we realize it or not. We might have it with one person, two, three, maybe more. I think it can be rare, and rare is ultimately special, for this is truly a special connection. Does anyone know what I'm talking about, or can anyone else describe it? Who is yours with?

I think this longing, desperation, sadness, and depression can occur when we lose someone like this. I think we long for it when it's absenst or when it's stripped away from us. To have it is purely God-given and lucky. We all should be thankful for the special people like this in our own lives. I know I would fall to depression if I lost my "soul mates," for a lack of a better term. They're not all my long-lost romantic loves. They know my soul, and I know theirs.

Have I gone truly crazy yet? Let me know.

I know for sure that I have two people in my life who are categorized here, and I love them more deeply than I love myself. They know who they are.

Anyway, I hoped that I made the words move off the screem, that they weren't just symbols and images in front of you, that maybe I put some feeling into small words that evoked an emotion out of you.

What do you think about my rant, or especially about the beginning quotation?

Waking Life

Yesterday, I saw a movie that really intrigued me. It was so different from any other movie I've ever seen. It asked questions and let its characters ramble on about the depths of life--something foreign to most films.

The film looks to answer the question: Are we sleep-walking through our waking life or wake-walking through our dreams?

Yes, it was confusing.

Yes, I still don't know what it means.

But aren't those the best kinds of movies, the ones that you can watch over and over again to continuously figure out the meaning, the deeper meaning that has something to do with your own life?

This movie, Waking Life, asked many questions about life, and introduced various concepts of life (particularly about dreaming) that are, perhaps, taboo or "deep," but they're not too far-fetched to scare anyone away. You might have even thought about it before at some point too.

Waking Life is different from most movies you'll see, first because it's cartoon-like, and second because it really doesn't have a plot. Each scene jumps between a main character basically speaking to various characters who don't really connect in any way at all. I think there might be a connection or some meaning, but I haven't figured it out yet. Maybe someone out these has and can enlighten me. I'm in the mood for enlightenment.

The director, Richard Linklater, who also inserts himself as a character at the end of the movie, has written and directed other films that are very, very good and worth seeing. Exmaples: Dazed and Confused, A Scanner Darkly, Fast Food Nation, Before Sunset, Before Sunrise, School of Rock, etc.

Advice: Gotta see this movie. Also, see A Scanner Darkly, even though it's also a bit bizarre and cartoon-oriented, but it does have a plot. If drugs or the invasion of personal privacy from the government interests you, try it.

In my next series of blog posts, I am going to attempt to figure out various quotations from the movie via blog rant. I hope that you can all help me as I try to wrap my head around some of these loaded questions and quotations.

Fairs

One thing that I really enjoy about this time of the year (this end of the summer, beginning of fall time) are the fairs and festivals.

Last week, my brother and I visited the New York State Fair in Syracuse, not specifically go enjoy the fair, but to see the Counting Crows. However, we had some time before the show to adventure around the fair, and it really was a great experience.

I think my favorite thing about the fair is the unique, freshly cooked varieties of food they offer. The smells around the fair are intoxicating! I couldn't choose what to eat! And the best part is, they don't overcharge you. The prices are so reasonable that it made it very hard to not purchase something that you craved. The sweet smells in the air from fried dough, kettle corn, ice cream, turnovers, dumplings, cheesecakes, doughnuts, shortcakes, pies, candy apples, fresh squeezed lemonade, etc. How couldn't you break down and buy something delicious?

Also, I do enjoy the homemade array of trinkets, t-shirts, candles, bags, tie dye, jewelery, etc. You never know what cool stuff you're going to find at a fair. There's always something that entices you. Personally, I really liked this section at the fair last week that was dedicated to African culture. They had some really interesting beaded jewelery and music. It was really inviting. They also offered ox tail for food (now how about that for trying something new!).

Fair rides are also really fun. Tilt-a-whirls, ferris wheels, bumper cars, etc. What were your favorite rides?

I think it would be really cool to be so talented at some kind of hobby that you could sell your products at a fair. That must be so fun and exciting. You work all year (perhaps during free time) creating something that you enjoy, and then you go to a fair, put up a small tent, and watch people review your work and purchase your creations. I think that would be fun. And, you would get to snack on some extremely delicious snacks that you can only get from a fair. It's just something about being sold at a fair that makes them taste better...

Have you heard of deep-fried oreos? They sold them at the fair, and I thought that was wild. We're just deep frying anything nowadays. My brother tried them once, and he says they have like a fried dough cover and the oreo pretty much melts inside of it, so it's a gooey oreo flavor inside. I guess they come in packs of like six, and they're pretty cheap. I didn't try them this time, but I'd like to another time just to experience it. Has anyone tried it?

If you could work at the fair, what would you like to do: sell your own merchandise, work a food booth, entertain, be a drink vendor, etc?

What do you like about fairs, or do you have any good fair memories?

Personally, I liked to watch the pig races when I was little, but I didn't see them at the Syracuse fair this time...

Let me know some fair thoughts.

Fires

Recently I've been shocked to hear about the recent news story, the Greece Fires. Has anyone heard about this tragedy?

Apparently, fires have been starting all over Greece for the past week. Even today, Greece is still burning. Could you imagine your country or state continuously burning for a week straight? Imagine the panic.

Analysts thinks that the fires are caused by arson, but they've been igniting in different areas all around Greece. At one point, over 70 separate locations of fires were burning in the country. Doesn't that sound like some kind of intentional attempt or act of terrorism? That would be like the US burning, but burning from all different states, like Kentucky to New York to California. Apparently six people have been charged for deliberately starting the fires.

So far, 64 people have died and over 500,000 acres have been burnt, almost the size of Rhode Island. That must be a terrifying way to die. Burning. The suffocation, the fire, no escapes and a helpless feeling. I give firefighters a lot of credit. I couldn't have that bravery carried with me every day.



Look at the fires from a NASA aerial shot. Isn't that insane?

I can't imagine being in that situation. It reminds me of that common question that we've been asked before: if your house was on fire and you could only take one thing, what would you take?

First of all, that situation would be horrifying. I don't even know if I would know where to begin. Everything you've ever owned and treasured would be inside burning, and what could you do? Where could you bring it? How much could you take before your own life is in danger?

My answer, like some people's, is a cross between pictures/home videos and my writings (journals) from when I was little until up to date. Those are irreplacable. All the clothes and shoes can be re-bought, but those would be gone forever. Those would hurt the most to lose, in my opinion.

A quick memory: this reminds me of Ang, when I asked her about her favorite stuffed animal, Ellie, being trapped inside the house during a fire. Quick fact on Ang: she is deeply attached to the animal. So, in this hypothetical question, Ang actually began crying, physically picturing the event happening. How much of an ass did I feel like? Needless to say, it's a comical memory and Ellie is not burning in a fire. She's probably tucked safely somewhere on Patiky Street in Long Island.

Anyway, my big question is the one I mentioned above: If you could only take one thing from your house if it was burning, what would you take? And why?

Dominique Appia

Above is one of my favorite pieces of art, called "Between the Gasps of Memory" by Dominique Appia.

Once I saw it, I was immediately in love with it. I bought it as a poster two years ago, and we initially put it in front of our kitchen table. The poster caused a lot of people to squint their eyes and say "that's just really weird," but it also caused a lot of thought-provoking conversations that aimed to dissect the piece.

I still don't really know what it means.

I have ideas, though.

I remember, two years ago, having a great conversation about it with my great friends Paul Michael and Andy. We talked about which area our eyes were drawn to, which area we would feel most comfortable being in, where we would be in the picture if we had the chance to crop ourselves in.

Then, the other night, after I hung the poster in my bedroom, my roommates Jess and Andy looked at the poster in depth, trying to analyze each section. With their help, mostly just Jess and I, I got farhter into understanding it than I normally have. But, I guess I don't really look at it too closely when it's always around. It just becomes another thing on the wall--not something to stop and think about too much when it's always there. However, I like that I have the option to go another step farther with it if I have the time or energy to want to expand my thinking for the day.

So, if you like this piece of artwork or are intrigued by it, please, please, please visit his website. You could explore it for a while, just meandering through his pages and other pieces of artwork. It's one of the best and most interesting websites I've come across--maybe because I am also a fan of artwork. I also have the website in my list of links on the side of my blog if that's easier.

What do you think of his artwork?

I'm going to post some more of his pieces below. Let me know what you think.

Counting Crows

Last night, my brother and I drove up to the Syracuse State Fair to see Hootie and the Blowfish and Counting Crows, one of my all-time favorite bands. I've seen Counting Crows before, once last year in Rochester at Darien Lake, and they put on a really good show. But, they play a lot of unknown songs and change up some of the popular songs when they play them, so I think a lot of people are left disappointed with their performance. Honestly, I think that it's great for artists to reinvent their music and choose the songs they want to play, because it's their music.

I love Counting Crows because they have so much heart for their music. They love each song they create, and you know how meaningful each piece is. Adam, the lead singer, always talks about a song or two during the night, letting you know its significance and importance to him. I really like that, because you know he's creating music that's really special to him, and they're creating songs not only to make money, but because they have to.

My favorite part of the night is when the band played a not-so-popular track, "Goodnight Elizabeth," a slower song. Mid-way during the song, the band kept playing the slow piano tune to the song, and Adam sat down on a speaker and talked about what the song means to him. He told us that in 1993, he had a girlfriend and a record contract. He thought he had his whole life planned out. Marriage, band, life. Then when they went on the road in the summer, they broke up unexpectedly. He wrote the song in December of the same year, thinking that his lyrics "Goodnight, Elizabeth" really meant "goodbye," like saying goodbye to her as his girlfriend.

But, he said that now, since he broke up with a new girlfriend two weeks ago, he really figured out what he was talking about years ago. Instead of "goodnight" really meaning "goodbye," he thinks that it really does mean "goodnight." When we lose someone, we give up that ability to say goodnight to them, and as he put it, "release the anchor on them before they go to sleep." We're they're last contact, that special moment before you both sleep. You really don't think about it much until it's gone, and then you realize how important and comforting the "goodnight" was.



I love that the band still tries to figure out their songs even after they've been published for over ten years. I think that's one reason why they're a strong band; they also keep reinventing their songs, which I find extremely talented. Soon, they'll be coming out with a new edition of August and Everything After, one of their best albums, in my opinion.

But, still during "Goodnight Elizabeth," after he said his revelation, he sung with his eyes closed, really feeling the song. Then, once he opened his eyes, he realized that a couple guys in the front were fighting, so he put his hand up and the band stopped playing music. He said, "Are you guys really fighting during 'Goodnight Elizabeth'? This is not a fighting song. There are definitely a lot of other songs that you could fight to, but this is a slow song." Then he waited a minute and asked if they were done fighting. He motioned to the band to begin, and they began playing right from where they left off.

I enjoyed that too.

Other songs that they played: "Black and Blue," "A Long December," "Recovering the Satellites," "St. Robinson and His Cadillac Dream," "Mrs. Potter's Lullaby," "Hangin' Around," "Big Yellow Taxi," "Hard Candy," "Holiday in Spain," "Mr. Jones," and they ended with "Rain King" and a Bob Dylan song, sang as a duet with Darius Rucker, the lead singer of Hootie and the Blowfish. They also played two new songs from a new CD coming up: Saturday Nights and Sunday Mornings, which sounds like it's going to be a double disc, because songs come from either side. They played "Hanging Tree" from Saturday Nights and "Drumming Girl" (I think that's the name of the song) from Sunday Mornings. Look for the new CD!

At the end, Adam talked to the audience again. He said that we need to be more American and use our rights more than we do. We need to vote. There's nothing more American than voting. He doesn't care what we vote, but we need to exercise our ability to choose more often. And, he said that we should be participating in more programs around our local area, like rape abuse centers, AIDS facilities, clinics, etc. Volunteer. America gives us the ability to participate and be involved. We need to use that involvement more. The best help you can give is to your own community; you don't need to go all around the world to help. Local help is the best you can do.

Then, Adam ended by saying that they're not going anywhere; they plan on being around for a while. That's good news for us.

What are your favorite Counting Crows songs? Which lyrics do you love? Have you ever seen them perform before?

These lyrics stuck out to me last night from "A Long December," and I'll post them underneath. Think about it for this upcoming year, especially all you college freshmen.

I can't remember all the times I tried to tell my myself
To hold on to these moments as they pass

Piercing

I love spontaneity.

On Wednesday, Bridget (my godmother) was talking to my mom and I, trying to make plans to get together that day. Instead of just doing the same old thing, we decided to pierce.

I have been wanting to pierce my rook for a while--Erica inspired me with her own piercing, and I've been putting it off for a few months now (just ask her). On Wednesday, I woke up not thinking that I would put myself through a different change like that for the day--and that's what I love about spontaneity.

Surpisingly enough, Di decided to get her cartilege pierced too! I was so excited that she let herself do it. I know that she was really nervous and scared, but she sucked it up and got a gold hoop in her cartilege. She looks awesome! Let her know next time you see her, because it really does look hot.



I pierced first though because I was so nervous that I had to get it over with. I am terrified of needles, so this was big for me. The needle was curved because the rook in your ear is in the corner, and the needle has to go in at an angle. And man! did it hurt. Even three days afterwards, it still hurts if you touch it, but it's well worth the pain. I think it looks pretty cool, even though my mom thinks that no one will hire someone who has such a "scandalous" piercing (I don't think it's really that bad).



What do you think of it?

After my mom, Bridge got her second holes re-pierced. We always make a small scene wherever we go. We really struck up some good conversation with the piercing guy. He informed me of a myth: the piercing itself never makes a noise, like a crunch; the sound is actually the rubber gloves of the piercer sliding the needle through. Gross, but true.

Matt and Steph accompanied us on our little piercing trip. Here they are sleepy on the couch in the waiting room:



Otherwise, that job must have its highs and lows. It must be fun to make such fun and cool changes on someone, to pierce something that they really want done. But, it must also be difficult for those people who are deathly terrified yet still want it done. I was somewhere in between, kind of pulling away as an instinct as he pierced me (bad move), but he was still able to perform it. He said he's had worse, and I bet it's true.

How do you think that job would be? More highs or lows?

Overall, piercing was fun and rewarding. We all have something physical on our bodies to remind us of that day and of each other. This was the "Summer of Change," so why not symbolize it with a physical reminder?